Blasted Buckles
by Lady Sorcha
Summary: Just a little cutesy story I wrote about Hawke and Anders oneshot . Anders plans of cleaning the clinic are ruined when Merrill comes bursting in. It seems Hawke and the other companions had a few too many drinks at the Hanged Man...


Anders is in his clinic in dark town. Making an attempt at cleaning. To maintain some order in the ever-changing chaos of Darktown. Plus who wants to come to a clinic with bowls of spoiled milk sitting about in attempts at attracting cats.

_Things are calm for the moment no life threatening wounds or Darkspawn to be seen that's getting rarer these days. And no Hawke. Maker I love the woman but she's like a whirlwind. Never sitting still and always stirring things up. If it's not Dragons then it's the blighted Qunari. Or the Templars. Thank the Maker she's not a mage…she probably would have struck down a Templar with lightening by now. It's nice that she cares and supports the cause but does she always have to antagonize the Templars. Always making her jokes and making her opinion known. My life will never be dull again I can tell you that._

_Hawke why do you insist on leaving bits of paper strewn about my clinic? Hum there's a note on this one._

**This is for leaving bits of your Manifesto strewn about the estate. I thought I'd return the favor. While these will not cause an uproar if found by the Templars they might cause an uproar if you're clinic is ever infested by cats as you so deeply desire.**

**Love, Hawke**

Anders chuckles to himself, tucking the note away in a book. He continues tidying up the clinic.

* * *

The door opens and Merrill walks in.

"I hope you were careful in coming here. Unlike you I have no wish to attract the attention of the Templars," Anders says not looking at Merrill.

"What? Why ever would I want attract their attention?"

He sighs, "Never mind Merrill. So can I help you with anything?"

"Yes. Well not me I don't need any help at the moment. But…well Hawke…"

"Is she ok?" Anders interrupts reaching for his staff.

"It's so sweet how you worry about her like that. The two of you are so cute together. Oh now what was I saying…oh yes. Hawke isn't in any trouble but she's at the Hanged Man. Oh it's very lively there now."

"Why does she need my help with that?"

"Well you see we were at the Hanged Man and Hawke went to get Fenris. She said something about him needing to stop brooding and sulking like a child. And he likes drinking anyways so at least he could be a social drinker. She also said that he just needed a good bedding…I don't know what difference the types of sheets he uses would matter..."

"Merrill please get to the point."

"I am I am. So anyway she practically drags Fenris into the Hanged Man. Isabella, Varric, and I are already at a table. Isabella and Varric have been arguing about who can drink the most. Hawke pushes Fenris into a chair and says she could outdrink them all. So they decided to have a contest. Then Fenris says that if he must suffer through all this that at least he can show them all and that he'll outdrink them all."

Merrill pauses to take a breath. Anders rubs his hand across his face looking frustrated and starts cleaning again.

"So I'm still not seeing the part where Hawke needs me help. They're just having a good time. Though it's probably a good thing I'm prepared. She's very…handsy when she's drunk."

"Handsy," Merrill chuckles, "What a funny word. What do you mean by that?"

"I…nothing. Just continue."

"Right so I thought you might want to come get Hawke. Because they started drinking a few hours ago and they're still going at it…well in between various stories they're telling. Some of them about Slavers and Templars…"

"Merrill you should have told me when you first got here. Maker imagine what those four might have said…or done." Anders rushes out of the clinic.

* * *

Anders hears laughter and shouts as he nears the Hanged Man. He opens the door not sure what to expect. He immediately spots Hawke as she's standing on a table. Her cheeks are flushed. She's swaying a bit as she animatedly throws her arms about as she talks.

_There's Hawke in the middle of it all…as always. Ah so she's telling the story of fighting the High Dragon at the mines. I'll let her have a bit of fun. She needs it. I just hope they didn't do anything that's going to cause trouble later. I better stay here just in case. Plus I can make sure she gets home safe._

Anders leans against the wall and crosses his arms over his chest and watches Hawke with a smile on his face. Hawke finishes her story and plops down on the table. The crowd that had gathered around their table begins to disperse.

"Do you remember that Isabella? Andraste's…wait Varric what is it about Andraste and her butt?" Hawke asks.

"Oh my dear friend that would be Andraste's dimpled butt cheeks." Varric chuckles.

"Right right. I should write that down somewhere. But Isabella you remember right? How could you forget? I mean Andraste's dimpled butt cheeks that was a big dragon. It could have eaten us all." Hawke exclaims.

"Well I'm sure I'd remember if I was there. Remember you left me here all alone that time. I didn't get to join the party. But you let Fenris play with the Dragon and he's no fun at all." Isabella pouts throwing herself forward and hugging Hawke.

"Now Rivaini he did make a joke that one time about dancing. It's my influence of course…he's a work in progress." Varric says leaning his chair back. His chair almost falls sending the group into a fit of hopeless giggling.

"I do believe we're all hopelessly sloshed." Hawke wipes tears off her face.

"Ah so that's why it seems like a good idea to invite you all over to my mansion for a dance recital," Fenris says sending the group into another fit of hysteria.

Isabella drapes her arms around Fenris's neck and leans into him. "My good man I'd like a front row seat. Is clothing optional?"

"For the men it is. Now you and Hawke…" Varric grins. "That is where the optionality is and something I'd like to encourage."

Fenris blushes, while the other three laugh. Hawke notices Anders leaning against the wall. She smiles and waves at him.

Isabella grabs Hawke's hand. "What do you say love? Shall we give them a treat?"

"Well my dear right I only want to use that optionality on that man over there." Hawke points at Anders.

Anders walks over to the group. Before he can greet the others Hawke crawls to the edge of the table and kisses him.

"I give that a ten. How 'bout you Riviani?" Varric asks.

"Oh no…I think an eight or nine. There's always room for improvement," Isabella says.

"Oh yes you're quite right but without the proper training that ranks a ten," Varric replies.

Fenris blushes again and rubs his hand on his neck. "Maker you two should write a book. I'm going home." He gets up and stumbles out of the bar. Leaving Varric and Isabella babbling on about various techniques and books.

Hawke runs her hands into Anders hair and kisses his neck. "Mmm you smell nice."

"Your normally pleasant smell is currently overwhelmed by the stench of cheap ale."

"Well I did have quite a bit of it," she giggles.

"A think a bit might be an understatement. Do you even know how much you had?"

"Of course I do. I had…well ok I don't remember," she grins.

"You're going to feel like death tomorrow you know. I suppose that's one of the positives of Justice not letting me get drunk anymore," he says stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"Well luckily for me I'm in love with a wonderful man who can make it all better."

Anders fights the urge to grin. "Oh yes. I think I can do that for you. Good thing you have a mage wrapped around your fingers," he whispers in her ear.

"Oh all you have to do is smile love and the world is alright. Maker I sound like one of those people in those books Isabella likes…" She puts a hand on her forehead.

Anders pulls her into an embrace, "I love you too. Oh what would I ever do without you?"

"Oh I think you'd be very bored." She pulls away from him and staring at his chest.

"What are you looking at?"

"Just trying to figure out the best way to remove the feathers and robe in this state. I don't think I'll do very good with buckles right now. But they won't stop me." She reaches toward the first buckle.

He grabs her hand and kisses her palm. "Not here Hawke. Let's get you home and then you can wage war on the buckles."

"Oh fine." She attempts to get down off the table. She stumbles into Anders and his arms go around her, holding her up. She kisses him again. "Will you help me wage war?"

Anders just smiles and picks Hawke up in his arms. Where she immediately sits to work on undoing the buckles.

"I see it might be a bit problematic heading home this way. I might just have to sling you over my shoulder," he chuckles.

"I just wanted a head start. These things can be very complicated you know," she says seriously while concentrating on the buckles. "Why aren't your clothes simple. There are just too many blasted buckles I thought you were going to help me," she pouts looking at Anders. "Ah…I got one." She smiles at him before sitting to work on the next one.

"I see. Well over the shoulder you go then." He sits her down on the table.

"Wait…what?"

He leans down and grabs her legs and puts her over his shoulder.

"Well this is new," she says.

"Maybe now we can safely get home with all of our clothes still on." He starts walking to the door.

"You know…you have a very nice buttocks. I've never really noticed because of all the robes. Why do you always wear robes? And well I don't believe my face has ever been this close to it before. Don't think this dissuades me from war. At home I will defeat those buckles and claim my victory."

"Oh am I to be the prize?" He smiles.

"Well of course you are. You're kind, passionate, handsome, and caring. And I love you and you love me. I know I'm forgetting things but it's very distracting back here. I think I'm quite lucky…"

His face lights up and he stops walking.

"Why are we stopping? Are we already there?"

"Not quite dear." He sits her down in front of him. He gently kisses her. "You're just too wonderful. I'm the lucky one here."

"Even with all the spectacles and things I stir up? It's like I can't even take two bloody steps without some idiot doing something."

"Well it's the little things that make life interesting." He picks her up in his arms. "You can wage war on the buckles. So what if you get one or two more undone on the way. It's dark outside anyway. I suppose if anyone does see anything they'll be just as drunk as you."

She smiles and kisses him. Then restarts her attempts at waging war on those blasted buckles.


End file.
